The Secret To Keeping Her Heart Is Right Where You Left It

For many of us in the modern world, developing our sexy personality has been a spiritual awakening, a life altering excursion away from everything our ancestors knew. It has been a formidable challenge, a triumphant achievement, and it has brought us all manner of fruits we might never have felt dripping down our faces with such wild abundance during this lifetime. It has been a blessing that has paid more consistent dividends than any other art we could have pursued.

And yet.

As with all things, we must attend to nature’s laws. And one of those laws is her demand for balance. We are never on a one way track anywhere, as the opposites are contained in the thing itself, and they will always rebel when pushed too far in one direction for too long. And such is it with our sexual development.

The irony in our case is that the opposite for masterful gamers is the very thing we got out of to get good at game in the first place.

Let me explain: For 90% of recently successful womanizers, they had to make a hard transition out of being a chump, a pushover, a “friend,” and worse. They had to leave behind the world of "providerism,” niceness, and even being a good person at all. That’s how hard they needed to tack to finally gorge themselves on the pussy that had previously passed by their eyes like happy couples on the wrong side of the aquarium glass. And when they made a departure from their old ways, they mostly thought that it was for good.

But the truth is, it wasn’t. And it couldn’t be.

Your sexiness set you free, but it can also send you back to aloneness just the same.

Because once you have won your woman’s heart, her loins, and her sensual devotion, layering on more sexiness can start to yield diminishing returns. So much so that if persisted with like the freight train you thought would take you to heaven, those returns will actually return you to singledom.

Now if you’re spinning plates and polying around, then this might not be that big of a deal to you - the cost of doing business.

But if you have won the heart of someone whose heart you love to be loved by, your continued chadittude™ may yield the worst results.

Because once a woman has given the flower of her love to you, there is nothing further left for her to surrender. And I don’t mean the deepening of that love, which can indeed last a lifetime. What I mean is that her last drop of leverage, that which she might withhold from you in order to get what she wants from you is gone. And this is what real love looks lke in a woman: the total abdication of power and guile.

It started when she fucked you. Right there most of her power is gone, and she knows it. If she can’t lord sex over you, what else can she lord?

But you know better than that (if you’ve been following me for a while) and you don’t let her lord sex or anything else over you anyway.

But as she falls deeper and deeper in love with you, the last drops of power over men, which is her (at least in her mind) last tool to control her world, disappears forever. She is completely yours.

So if you continue to hard game her, to be out of reach, to subtly flaunt all your choices, there are no more petals in her flower to open, and she starts to wither. She withers not out of disgust or lack of arousal but out of a genuine fear of losing you. You are now stoking her deepest fears of never being enough, of loss of provisioning, and loss of her entire self that she has given up to you completely. And this fear no longer titillates and seduces her. It outright destroys her.

If you are a vengeful ladykiller, you may actually find some glee in this. But you shouldn’t.

When a woman gives up her heart to you fully, it is one of the most beautiful things you can experience as a man. Surprisingly to the trained cad, it actually awakens all your noblest impulses to protect, to care for, to nurture. And it is the kind of thing that, should you lose it, is not simply “Ass #423, Next!” It is a loss of something spiritual and sublime, and you will and should miss it if you do.

So past a certain point with a woman, you need to tame the exact same stallion that brought her to your bed in the first place. You need to zig a little to counter your manly zag that bested all your competitors and spread her legs voluntarily for you at the beginning.

What does this mean?

It means you have to be a little nice.

You have to be a little feely.

You have to get her things and make her feel safe.

You have to whisper sweet things, and maybe try a little old fashioned romance.

And the easiest one to forget: You have to tell her that she is beautiful.

You don’t need to froth her loins with caddish flirting and casual dread game. You need to let her feel, not that you are an aloof ZFG playa with endless options, but that you actually have a little bit of oneitis for her. And for those of you practiced in game, this will feel as unnatural as your first neg did oh so many years ago.

But this is what your graduation looks like.

This is when you take your game past notch counts and into life mastery, because you have the option now - if you want it - to own a woman’s heart for your very own - and keep it.

Not everyone wants this, or at least knows that they want it, but when you have reached a certain level of cool, this next level of life experience opens up to you, and it requires every bit as much of the artfulness and skill that getting her wet in the first place did. It is your next level education in surfing the wave of sustained and mutual love with the woman you choose.

Now let me be clear:

What you DON'T need to do is turn into a perpetual sap.

No.

That will break the spell of her love the other way and cause the antennae hidden in her vaginal folds to re-awaken and start looking elsewhere.

But what you do need to do is manage her love.

You need to give her comfort that with her you are not the same chad she fell in love with who will up and claim the hearts of your infinite selection of her replacements. You need to revive the sorry sap you left behind to become the man that you are today. Just enough. Just enough to calm her fears, to allow her love flame to be restoked and endure for another round in your journey together.

This is the subtlest form of game there is, what Heartiste called queasily “Comfort Game.” And in a way, it is the hardest game there is too, because you spent half a lifetime clawing your way out of exactly the behaviors she needs the most from you now.

And again, this is just a zig in your zag. It is not a brand new freight train to forever land, and you won’t need to do it forever. You can get back to your regularly scheduled macking soon enough (and you must!). But Comfort is a move in the dance that you must master, lest you gyrate clumsily in a one note samba of cool that leads her right out the door.

Most people don’t teach “comfort game” because most people don’t need to. Getting laid is the alpha and omega (heh & heh) of market demand for “dating” coaches. And excess comfort game is the prima materia they are beating out of their dweebish clientele in the first place anyway, so why encourage it?

This is true, and it is as it should be. But for you, masterful fucker, you are ready for more.

When you find someone you can bed and whose heart and very soul you have mastered, a more delicate touch is required to spin it into greater and sustained love.

You need to exhume your own beta corpse, the “thoughtful” nice guy you had buried all those years ago and left for dead. Because you are not done with him yet. He may have put his cart before the whores (heh), but now that you are driving at a solid clip, his brakes are needed to keep you from spinning out and sending her away for good.

Because when she has nothing left to surrender to you, she is as vulnerable as she could ever be. And if she fears your callous coolness will break her very being, she will kill her own love for you to save her soul. And this is a tragedy for you both, one that could have been avoided with a soupçon of comfort game right when she needed it.

Take heed great lovers. Opening the labia is the first step on the road to your fulfillment through her total surrender. Yes. But you can’t expect her to surrender forever without feeling, at least for a moment, that you won’t abandon her when her soul has no other safe harbor left. And once you master the tactic in just the right amount, you can move on to sustaining a playful zig and zag of necessary assholism and counterbalancing comfort game. Two steps (or more) forward, one step back.

Some trial and error will be involved here (YMMV), as this is high level game that almost no one will tell you about, because almost no one can do it. Most people get the proportions laughably backwards, and by the time they bring any real mojo to the relationship, it is eye-rollable and ridiculous.

But you are macheté-ing through mostly uncharted territory, here. You are the elite, the vanguard, and the elect, who will show the way forward to the throngs of gamers who fouled their love by only playing their one stale tune. When you mix it up a little, you become the jukebox of her heart and her love will sing along for as long as your own heart desires.