The Reason You Can't Get Girls is Because Your Mommy Wants To Keep You For Herself

This topic doesn’t get a lot of play in the Pickup Community. Most practitioners (and vendors) of game prefer less psychologically black holey topics from which they can reasomably promise you an exit within a fixed period of time. Once you start going into “mommy issues,” you tap into the pre-conscious and pre-rational mind where grokking, much less resolving, truth is far from guaranteed, given how murky and inscrutable the deep unconscious is for most people.

But here we are, and I’d be lying to you if I didn’t say that this was a primal and colossal factor that undergirds most of your issues with women.

Now what I’m explicitly NOT recommending is that you do anything about this. With the deeper layers of the unconscious, it is far, far better to let them bubble to the surface in their own time rather than go “hunting” for them with your brain-sword.

The mind, and especially the conscious mind, is the wrong tool for exploring the psyche. My goal here is to merely get you to open the portal of possibility for the right information - and resolutions - to surface in their own way and in their own time.

So I repeat: Don’t *do* anything with this information. It is enough to read it and consider it. Your psyche will take care of the rest if you will but allow it, which, I admit, for the horny modern truth seeker is one of the hardest things to do. But do it you must lest you backslide even further into the oblivion of the unconscious traps your mommy has set for you and never break free. Trust me on this. Read this and then forget all about it. That will serve you better than 1000 therapy sessions, I promise.

So going on (and if you don’t get the last paragraph, then just stop reading now), I remember talking with an old friend who was a recent mom. She had survived all kinds of abuse as a child and was someone given to high ethical standards and a commitment to doing better by her own children than what had been done to her. And good for her.

But at one point, early in her firstborn’s life, she confided in me that “it would be so easy to just keep him if I wanted to.” I didn’t press for details (I knew what they were), but I noted that even women who were concerned with the betterment of their children knew the secret to aborting their amorous growth and were even tempted to do so but for the loud calling of their better angels, and in her case, her dedication to breaking as many family curses as she could.

But many men are less fortunate. The single mommery theme has been done to death in so many of our public discourses on mental health (particularly for boys) that one might think there was little left to plumb. But hear this: the ills of single mommery go well beyond “not having a male role model.” Because single mommies the world over are one thing and one thing above all else: lonely.

Interestingly, the same man who invented the word “incel" concurrently invented the word “InSOL,” which, whereas incel stood for “involuntary celibacy,” inSOL stood for “involuntary SOLITUDE,” the girl version of the same phenomenon.

It is understood that women can get sex whenever they want (whereas most men can not), but it is less understood that women can not always get companionship, particularly from desirable men. So the InSol phenomenon, which has been largely ignored by internet scolds, is a real and pervasive problem, particularly for the single mommy class.

Most women, partciualry who have spawned the children of men they (now) consider to be beneath them will gladly throw their children under the bus in favor of whatever male companiohsup they can get - and hopefully get pregnant by for a chance at better spawn. This calculation almost never squares up right, but hope springeth eternal, and nobody ever lost money betting on female self-delusion.

So they will chase men and leave their kids with the nanny (or whomever) in the hopes of a redo from their previous ill-conceived (heh) choices.

And believe it or not, this isn’t the worst possible outcome. Benign neglect isn’t as bad as it sounds, and even malignant neglect isn’t so bad when compared with the third option, which is to leverage a boy’s need for motherly love to make him the solution to her solitude.

This phenomenon is with us always and everywhere, and it is a core trauma for boys the world over that is almost never spoken about. But there it is. These mothers, having given up the prospect of finding viable grownup dick, “invest” their energy in “building a relationship” with their pubescent and adult boys. And while there is a sexual undercurrent to this adultening of her boy, the real goal is to cement his emotional connection to her so that he never leaves her to her solitude, whose certainty increases daily with each new wrinkle and deepening scowl of bitterness on her forehead. His heart must never belong to another. It can only be hers.

And in truth, this impulse is there for nearly every mother to one degree or another. Most are able to overcome if because their genuine love for their boys prompts them to raise them for a happy life of love and independence. Their love is the selfless love of a mother who wants what’s best for *him* even if that tragically means losing what she thinks might be best for her.

This is the Puff Dragon fate of all mothers, to watch their children grow up and leave the nest, hopefully to find redemption in grandchildren, legacy, and the pride of having raised healthy and happy children to sustain her into her dotage. If she has done this right, those children will gladly come back for Thanksgiving and Christmas and see to her needs in her old age, such that she will never be as lonely as her unhappier sistren. But be clear: it was her genuine, selfless love that brought her children to her side in old age, not her desperate clinging to them, maiming them, and preventing them from ever reaching enough independence to have a choice of coming back at all. They can never return if they were never free to leave. The return of genuinely loving children is of a wholly different order than the coerced love of castrated manboys who simply obey like biped poodles.

But this is the choice that terrified mommies make for their sons, quietly and in secret, undermining them at every turn, planting seeds of doubt in them about - well, it could be anything, any initiative, any quest for independence, any masculine endeavor at all that might lead him away from her and into the arms of “some hussie” must be lopped off at all cost, lest he give or share his heart and leave her empty and alone forever.

And let me be clear: it isn’t just single mommies who pursue this scorched earth child “rearing” strategy. Mommies shackled to loser husbands feel nearly as lonely. They have given up faith in their man and many would leave them if they could (the “single” part is in many ways merely a formality for a woman whose love for her husband has expired). These unhappy women cast their hope in redemption of their empty hearts in the outward success of their boys, so long as they can control and take credit for that outcome. The young boys become the unwitting redeemer-husbands to the hateful women, only, (in the same manner as modern dog moms) trainable and hopefully salvageable in the way their bent and broken husbands are not.

The worst thing that can happen in this case is that the boy will be able to actually do it. Talented, brilliant, capable boys may yet live up to their mommies’ dreams for them. And in doing so, their success becomes their undoing, as every achievement serves to tighten the noose around his neck that she holds like a psychological doggie leash. His victories only bind him further to her and diminish the audacious and exploratory goals he may have yet had for his own independent life. His life becomes one of constnt frustration that he can not understand.

The best thing that can happen is that the boy becomes such a derelict loser that the mom eventually gives up and resigns herself to her misery.

Neither option is desirable, but an unhappy woman is seldom able to think beyond her immediate needs and the one-dimensional “plotting” to corriger la fortune and set things the way she, in her myopic microverse, thinks they should be, without any reference or reflection on how she got herself into this mess in the first place.

But whatever outward success her boy may or nay not have, the critical thing is that he never find the love of another woman, or failing that, that the woman be as controllable as the boy and never able to fully pry him away. An older mommy who has decades of mean girl manipulation under her belt is usually a good match for the women threatening to seize her son’s affections. One of them will surely go down in the process.

Now there is one answer to all of this, and in a way it is the answer to everything. And it is for the woman to continue to be genuinely in love with an exciting husband whom she can adore primarily and as long as he will let her.

By focusing her fulfillment on her adult partner, she may yet spare the child the fate of needing to be his own man AND his surrogate father in one pre-pubescent body. Whether single or not, if a woman is unhappy with her man, she will almost certainly turn to her offspring to save her from #insollife. So for the son, having just “any old dad” in the house is still not enough. His dad must be himself desirable enough that the woman can focus her eros primarily on him, thus leaving her love for her children more accepting and amorphous, like undefined soil ready to raise whatever seeds are planted in her care.

This is the one redeeming fate for a son that may yet guarantee an independent life.

And of course, the blessings don’t stop there. This sort of sexy man is more likely to model just the behaviors that the son needs to learn in order to live his own best sexy self. And thus the virtuous spiral of the positive father can begin. Contrary to the TV Novella scripts (written primarily by momma’s boys), it is not the women whose husbands “play around” who are most likely to turn to their boys for solace. These women are still focused on their husbands. It is the women whose husbands are too tamed to even consider playing around that are, paradoxically, the loneliest and most in need of “filling” from their still developing offspring.

So the paradoxes abound here. Firstly, in that trying to “figure out” your psychological issues around your mother is a fool’s errand. The best thing you can do is NOT try and let the healing messages surface in their own way.

The second is that women who love their boys selflessly and let them go have the highest chance of having those boys continue to love and care for their mothers throughout life. Those that are held back to “force” them to care may do so reluctantly or guiltily, but because they have no choice (since the mother never let them go emotionally), then the care is at best palliative and will not fill the need for genuine affection these mothers deeply crave.

And thirdly, the best chance the sons have for a fulfilling life is in having a father who distracts his mother’s attention away from him and gives him room to grow up on his own towards his demonstrably successful sexual proficiencies.

Whew. That’s a lot.

The emotional kneecapping of boys is a huge deal. And I would bet dollars to donuts that undergirding every drop of “approach anxiety” and anything else that might keep you from actually engaging with women whom you might actually come to love has its roots here for most men. They will need to abandon their mommies and break their hearts if they bust a move, even on an HB 6, and the internalized castrations the mommies have installed in their sons will short circuit almost any advance they might make towards success in transposing their love from mommy to bride.

Be aware of this phenomenon. It is deep and profound and in the end must be solved before you are completely free of the grips of your insol mother. The tactics for undermining you are endless and easy for a skilled emotional manipulator, as most women are. Whether they choose to exercise those skills for your betterment or enslavening is a function of their own ethical discipline (like my friend) or the offsetting masculine power of her REAL man, who can capture her attention and desire long enough for the child to grow up safely under his own steam. May we all be so lucky as these boys who, whatever their achievements, live blessed lives even if they don’t even realize the cruel fate they had avoided.