The Tell-Tale Blink

Sometimes I wonder if I spend too much time contemplating life’s minutiae. Nods, blinks, butt creases and the like. Can’t I just see the big picture and enjoy the broad strokes rather than honing in on the finer nuances of life?

But then I remember I have an artist’s soul and that the details are what make life rich and wondrous: the way a head tilts or hip curve elongates unexpectedly to an extended slope, the loft an eyebrow, that shapes an entire experience of someone, yet may go completely unnoticed but for the sharp scrutiny of an observant eye. Plus, I am told the devil is in the details, and he and I have a lot to talk about.

And one of those things is the Tell Tale Blink.

Once you crack the woman code, you realize that most women have such an easy time obscuring their intentions from men that they rarely self-improve beyond a certain point. Pareto tells them rightfully that it’s just not worth the effort to deceive the extra 20% of men with 80% of the effort.

For a while in the post-pickup heyday of the early 21st century, this changed. In response to the deluge of morning after disappointment, when they realized the beta dweebs who learned clumsy “techniques” to score lays couldn’t keep up the facade once their balls were empty, women collectively cracked down hard on their sexual selectivity. This rightful rebellion, plus the Instagram explosion that elevated female hotness techniques (also without the concomitant personality upgrades), turned the tables of the sexual marketplace forever.

But there are still chinks in the armor, and it’s important for men to be aware of them, even if they don’t need to exploit them outright.

So let’s start with the default bitch face. For both women and smart men, the RBF is an excellent forcefield for navigating the grope-y world of sexless rejects of all persuasions. "Do Not Disturb" is my default setting, and I invite you to give it a try too.

But from behind the mask, all of us are still playing, and we are all exchanging the cues that keep us from the fates of Stegosaurus and Cro-Magnon. We’re all looking to fuck, now, tomorrow, and forever.

So when we are assessing sexual interest, learning to “feel energy,” as I explain elsewhere is one of the tell talest methods for understanding female intention. When YKYK, and the better you get, the more nuanced your non-verbal understanding becomes.

But sometimes you only get a passing moment or glance to assess your prey (or simple ego fluffer) and surmise what she is thinking.

And in this, the Tell Tale Blink is the infallible guide to a woman’s interest in you.

Women are always and forever on the lookout for male attention. But mostly from men they are attentive to. They are waiting for you to cast your gaze on them both for the accumulation of ego points but also for the earnest desire that you might talk to her and actually be worth talking to.

But in perennial bitch face mode, the old school “friendly, inviting smile,” is almost entirely extinct outside of cultures that have not yet morphed into the Tinderverse global fuckfest (where it is both endearing and a little discomfiting to those of us accustomed to harder nuance).

So as we scan the room in our own hotness assessment mode, we should be aware of the involuntary blink we see when we catch the gaze of a woman who wants us to gaze on her - even if she is not looking at us or is actively looking away.

In fact, women will almost always look the other way when they want you to look at them, firstly for the ego assuasion if you don’t, but secondly because their left hand can tell their right hand that they weren’t even interested, thus preserving maybe the last vestige of virginal posturing we have left in the modern world.

“Oh, I didn’t even notice him,” she tells herself, while only looking at you from the corner of her eye. “He must really desire me, even though I’m not even putting out any signals that I am available. Tee hee." And thirdly she knows that if she locks eyes with the wrong dude, he will lay out a tractor beam to her soul and his neediness will make her vomitously ill for the next half hour.

Now here is an exercise you can try if you want, but there’s only value in it once or twice. Many women who studiously avoid noticing you as they pass you by on the street will nonetheless do a quick clap back assessment at the very, very, very last moment before she passes. If you feel the need, you can cleverly meet her gaze at that moment to “bust” her on it, but again, there’s not really any triumph in this (and if there is for you, then you need to reassess things a bit). But if you need some confirmation that women are acutely aware of you even when straining vigorously not to notice you, this is it.

Unless you are drippingly hawt, it is rare that a woman will involuntarily meet your eyes with goofy, tongue-hanging longing, unless she is in the 6-ish territory and kind of knows you’ll never go for her, so who cares. (Note: double confirmation from those drippier and hawtier than I requested.). But even with such men, a hot enough to maybe get him woman will strenuously avoid his gaze on the off chance that he will strike up a conversation, “Oh my gawwwd, I didn’t even see you there, Sir Dripping Hawt Fuck Me Man” she will gracelessly lie to herself, thus propping up her self-worth enough that she doesn’t fumble into frumpy goofball territory in front of him. But most men will not have to worry about this, and super hawt men have their own (myriad) problems.

So for the man casting his gaze over the hoards of eye averting potential pussies, look for the Tell Tale Blink. A girl who wants you to look at her but is not looking at you will blink when you catch her eye, even if she is looking away (which she will be). She may be reading a book, ordering off the menu, or just pretending to be spaced out on her I-gizmo, but she is acutely aware of you and wanting you to notice her with your magical attention giving powers that so validate her deepest of selves.

And what’s funny, is that you can then look away, then back, then away, then back then away. . . my record is about 7 times, and she will involuntarily blink each time to the point where she risks seizure from the strobe light effect you are creating on her retinas.

A woman who is genuinely distracted (with kids, despair, actual engaging work, etc) will not blink when you meet her eye. She doesn’t see you. Or more accurately, she doesn’t vibe-see you and is actually doing something besides low-simmer trolling for dick. The Tell Tale Non-Blink is also common for women who are either in the presence of partners they fear, the throes of loyalty for a partner they actually love, or are so unattractive that they have given up hope that men will ever want to meet their gaze and they just assume you are looking for your great aunt Sally somewhere in the throngs of passers-by and you couldn’t possibly be interested in her.

But for the rest of the time, if you are looking either for an in to approach someone or simply a bit of your own ego fluffing, the Tell Tale Blink will serve you 9 out of 10 times unless the woman, upon actually seeing you and your dishevelment square-on instantly recalculates and rebels, (her eyes will actually widen with horror if she does - don’t ask me how I know this) or she is so unaccustomed to men actually approaching her (a true anti-epidemic at the moment) that she is taken aback and/or realizes she actually *is* busy going somewhere and can’t stop and flirt.

If you are in ego-fluffing mode, you shouldn’t take offense to this last one. It’s just all happened too fast, and modern women have become inept at flirting since their devices have so atrophied their skills. Few are as poised IRL as they are on IG.

And I suppose that if you are truly vile, meeting a woman’s eye will not result in the Tell Tale Blink but in an icy stare or an outright aversion move where she turns away. This has not ever happened to me, but perhaps if I were as gross and anti-vibey as you are, it might. ;) But I leave that as an open question for further study and reports back from The Field.

So there you have it. One more eyelash’s breadth of nuance in the intersexual dynamics. Observe it and reap the rewards that sharp scrutiny may bring. For Big Picture men who have no arousal delta between normal and fake boobs, this kind of subtlety may just be out of your reach. I envy you. But for those with refined awareness - and who desire refined female specimens to stimulate our lust as well as our imaginations - using your heightened perception skills to perceive the TTB will serve you well.

Use liberally before the next evolution in female defensiveness kicks in and we have to hack our Neurolinks to figure out what the fuck they are thinking.