What Ancient Alchemy Teaches Us About The Best Sex Ever (and How to Build an Enduring Love)

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Actually this article has little to do with great sex and more about relationship management (which is more or less the same thing).

But it speaks to one of the common pitfalls most men fall into with women beyond the fucking stage. And it sprinkles in a little bit of "Ancient Wisdom" to underscore that this stuff isn't new. It's archetypally embedded in the earthly human soul and cosmic order. And the more you can align with that, the more "organic" and instinctively fulfilling your relationships will be.

So the pitfall I'm referencing is that many men believe that getting the girl is the achievement. There are even still men in our divorce-frothy world who believe that getting a woman to marry them is the end goal of their relational achievements. In their checklist of life goals, getting their university tickets, getting their job, getting their house, many men believe that "getting the girl" qualifies as an accomplishment that can be ticked off their list on the way to kids, retirement, visiting Mount Everest, or whatever other cookie-cutter life roadmap they desire.

Interestingly, many business people have similar delusions. In my business coaching, I always make sure my clients can look deep enough into the future budget-wise to go the distance. When they are developing their products or their companies, creating the widget that works can be a colossal undertaking. And particularly with inventors or techs, THIS is their achievement.

But creating the product is not the end of their business. It is the BEGINNING of their business. Nobody cares about all the hard work that went into launching your restaurant, designing the menu, building your clothing line, creating your amazing mousetrap or anything else. They only care what happens when you jump into the tangle of the marketplace and entertain them with your salesmanship and fulfillment.

So if you don't maintain a marketing and operations budget beyond the development side, you are setting yourself up to fall off a cliff. But the same kinds of people who don't get women are the same kinds of people that create amazing products - that fail in the marketplace. Because they thought they were done, when they hadn't even started yet.

And I promised you some Ancient Wisdom (TM), so here it is:

In ancient Alchemy, Men were represented by the Sun and by the metal Gold. Women by the Moon and the metal Silver.

Hang tight, gentle skeptics. Because the ancients spoke in symbolic language with a heavy dose of psychoid language as well, meaning the language in which symbolism penetrates reality.

So there are two insights that I will share with you here:

1) The Moon has no light of her own. She merely reflects the light of the Sun. She also is not constant or consistent. In the night sky, the Moon is now here, now there, now full, now empty, and to the untrained eye completely chaotic -but with a hidden order.

Sound familiar? Is your woman constant or consistent? Doubtful. Is she chaotic and all over the place. Most likely.

And yet there is a hidden consistency in her movements that can yet be gleaned by an astute observer (but this is not necessary for our conversation).

For those horrible misogynistic, mean spirited people who say women "have no souls," this is actually what they are referring to. The "soul" is the "Sol" which is the Latin word for Sun. The Sun is the Soul in Ancient alchemy, and it is the center around which the rest of life's struggles and trimmings circulate.

Technically speaking, all of the "Sol" and light women receive in the darkness of the skies comes from the Sun, not from within itself. She is dependent on the Sun for her warmth and light and for the stirrings of her emotions.

She lives forever relationally to the Sun which enlivens her "empty" being with his light.

2) The Sun is the center of the universe, but he has no way to see his own Light other than reflected back to him by the Moon (and the other planets, of course).

So there is a relational quality there as well where the Sun has an endless feedback mechanism through the Moon who shows him himself in all his glory.

The praise and adoration of a loving female is the lifeblood of a man's self understanding. She is the "market feedback" for how well he is shining his core self, his "Soul." What she reflects back to him is how he begins to understand himself from the outside because, being at the center, he has no reflection point of his own.

This is how the two "Luminaries" as they are called interact and dance with each other, feeding each other what they inherently lack themselves.

And as the Sun is regular and consistent, rising and setting predictably, creating order and structure on the earth (which even the least superstitious of us would admit is far less during the dark of night than after daybreak ,when even the worst nightmares abate in the face of the all-ordering sunshine), in a predictable rhythm that we can nearly set our watches by, we also see that even the orderliness of the Sun is changeable over the year in an equally hidden pattern to the moon, where he incrementally moves up and down quietly shortening and lengthening our daytime, giving in to the "dot" in the ying yang of feminine changeability to balance out his masculine order.

These insights tell us a lot about how the universe created itself to express our naturally gendered experience, mirroring our inner selves in the outer expression of the cosmic bodies.

And as a second insight we learn this about the archetypal Male and Female Bodies, expressed through the metals of Gold and Silver.

Gold is in cable of being oxidized or contaminated. Pure gold is just that: pure. Now, always, and forever. There is a permanent glow to it that has dazzled human beings for millennia.

Silver, however, is not. Silver darkens if not attended to. It must constantly be "polished" to maintain its luster, and its natural state is decay unless acted upon to preserve its glow.

Do you see where we're going here?

A woman must be attended to and polished. There is no "set it and forget it" for her. Men may deeply desire this to be so, but in the real interactive world, a relationship with a woman will temper his innate "laziness' wherein he wants to maximize his efficiency and therefore his leisure to preserve his strength. The autopilot life is a dream for many men, but if he wants to exist in a world full of women, they will demand - if they are to yield their gifts to him - that he remain PRESENT with them to attend to their ever changing needs.

There is literally no autopilot with women. One must attend, pay attention, adjust and constantly re-polish her.

Why does he always have to tell her he loves her? Can't he just say it once and she remembers it for decades? Because she is "silver" and forgets. The glow on her face when you tell her how beautiful she is is not like a thermostat that maintains that glow for all of eternity. It's more like a camp fire that needs a constant supply of new wood (heh) to maintain her feelings.

This is exhausting and unnatural to men. But the universe is so construed that a man can not simply live out his manliness and live a complete life. He must ALSO yield to the female demands for preservation of what he has built and the hearts he has won. She will always fade and decay unless he exerts efforts to polish the silver of her glowing heart.

One of my dear Russian friends explained to me why they cherish the gift of a rose so deeply. Women know that a rose holds no value for a man. It is a useless "thing" they buy that lasts a day and then expires. It is, in other words, a terrible investment.

But the wise woman knows that if a man will invest in something as pointless as a rose, then he will also be wiling to invest in her because it is meaningful to HER if not to him. With this gesture, he has bridged the gap between pure masculine efficiency and female whimsy. He has shown her that he will make the "foolish" (for a man) effort to polish her silver and fulfill her needs, no matter how pointless they seem to him.

Therefore, the truly foolish man who believes he has "achieved" something when securing a woman is in for the rudest of awakenings. Because he has betrayed the very cosmic order itself by thinking he has reached the finish line, when in reality he has only graced the starting line, just as the clueless entrepreneur thinks that building a product, no matter how difficult, means anything without the sustained "polishing" of the silver of his actual business throughout time.

Cash flow and emotional flow are related. They must be managed, preserved, increased, and developed over the life of the relationship and the life of the business if it is to yield the fruits of his desire.

Treat your women with nothing less than the sustained maintenance for her ever decaying self image and love required in order to maintain her affection. Check your monomaniacal drive towards productivity (and relaxation) in order to handle the softer elements of life that yet need our attention for the "useless" things as much as the useful, such that they can reflect back to us the fullness of our Sols and prove our mettle in subtler ways than our left brain reason could ever fully produce, so long as it exists in a world that is both temporal and permanent, that is both masculine and feminine, and both light and dark at the same time. When we fall out of balance with these cosmic forces, we run off the rails to our own ruin. But when we can learn the secrets of the dance between them, we are able to marry permanence and temporality at once in the divine union that the sages the world over have promised us is our salvation in this bipolar word so long as we maintain he dance with all its twists and turns.

So these ancient symbols o masculiniuyt, femininty, and love have much to tech us.

Polishing Her Silver: Practical Guide

So this guide is "sorta" practical. Because everything begins with mindset, we will walk you through the mental framework, from which, hopefully, the obvious actions organically flow.

The Rheostatic Instability of Her Love For You

In general her love for you is a function of her attraction for you. But unlike for men, this mechanism for women is not fixed.

For a man, he sees a woman and the light switch of his heart switches up or down. She's either hot or she's not, and once he's made this decision, there's almost nothing she can do - even not excepting looking haggard and frail after make up removing sex and a hangover the next morning - to change it. His attraction switch is binary.

But for her, it is a roulette wheel of possibilities. Or more accurately a compass that spins aimlessly until it finds its true north.

Or even more accurately, your inputs into her attraction system are ongoing. After decades of loving attention, financial investment, emotional investment, protection and guidance, a woman will famously erase all those memories from her heart if it ever turns against him, Those things simply never happened, he is worthless , and retroactively, always has been.

But while she is still engaged with him, his moment to moment actions determine if her attraction for him remains constant, rises, or falls. He can be socially awkward in one moment, and it drops. He can win a UFC competition in another, and her heart swells. He can deftly fend off her advances and traps, and her love happily coasts along to live another day.

But what her love is not - and never will be - is constant. The only constant is change, so the saying goes, and if you want the toy top of her love to remain erect for you (quasi heh), then you have to keep spinning it. You have to keep seducing her, delighting her, and sustaining her love for you through your diligent and consistent ACTIONS.

Men's inherent laziness and set-it-and-forget-it-philia is his undoing outside of the laboratory. When it comes to women and real life, entropy is the norm, and all things (other than the golden permanence of your loving male heart) decay and rely on your revivifying sunlight to re-enliven them again for a new day.

As noted earlier, getting the girl is the beginning, not the end of your journey. Once she is won, she must continue to be won every day forever. Sure you build up some credit, like an airplane at 40,000 feet doesn't just fall out of the sky if an engine fails. And the more credit you build, the more grace period you have for the occasional and inevitable slip ups.

But that credit is not infinite, and it must be replenished periodically with your manly accomplishments, charms, and constant re-activations of her attraction mechanisms which enliven the love she feels for you and offers so much of what you cherish in life.

So in many ways, women are life's greatest teachers for success in life, outside the permanence of his mother's love. Because truthfully, nearly everyone on earth and in business will treat you the same way. What have you done for me lately?

It is a cruel world, but with the proper responsive mentoring of an honest-hearted woman, a man can reap great benefits from delivering on the demands of those who will never love him unconditionally. It forces him to MOVE, to ACT, to develop his gumption and enterprising spirit and to never stand still. To harness the energy of his masculine power to create and create and create himself, the world around him, and the love he feeds on every singe day.

Women are the antidote to male inertia. And their demands for this yield our greatest rewards, while our self-indulgence, our greatest torments. As no woman will torment a man more than one who disappoints her need for passion and valor.

Next Section. . ."A woman demands to be acted upon, as the soil demands to be plowed and refreshed. Her natural boredom and stasis require complementary action to create the internal rhythms that make her feel alive. . ."